---
title: "Eleven People Felt Time Slip Fourteen Times. Their Clocks Did Not."
dek: "Sixty-one volunteers carried four instruments for eighteen months and pressed a button the moment it began. Every logged minute is accounted for. In nine of the fourteen episodes the body had stopped moving first."
kind: nullresult (The Null Result)
desk: Culture
author: Marguerite Lyle and Dev Rajagopal (fictional)
published: 2026-08-23T06:00:00Z
url: https://theyburied.com/article/two-clocks-eighteen-months
tags: time slip, actigraphy, pre-registration, Crewe, folklore
genre: satire
status: fiction — nothing in this story happened; every person, source and document is invented
---

# Eleven People Felt Time Slip Fourteen Times. Their Clocks Did Not.

*Sixty-one volunteers carried four instruments for eighteen months and pressed a button the moment it began. Every logged minute is accounted for. In nine of the fourteen episodes the body had stopped moving first.*

Fourteen times in eighteen months, somebody pressed the button.

Eleven people. Nine of them once, one twice, one three times. Every press timestamped by an instrument the volunteer could not adjust.

In all fourteen, the logged elapsed time and the clock-face time agree to the resolution of the instruments. Nobody gained a minute. Nobody lost one.

## What they carried

Sixty-one volunteers, each with at least one prior reported episode of time slip, carried four things for a year and a half.

A GPS logger, recording position and satellite time to the second. An actigraphy band, sampling wrist movement continuously and summarising it to one-second epochs. An ordinary quartz watch. And a radio-controlled clock on its own battery, disciplined to a national time signal and dependent on nothing else in the set.

Plus a button on a lanyard, to be pressed at the instant an episode began.

## The plan came first

The analysis plan was published on 9 January 2025, before anyone was recruited. It named the primary test, the failure condition and the stopping rule, and this newspaper could not have altered it afterwards had it wanted to.

The failure condition was deliberately generous: any two channels disagreeing by more than two seconds counted as a positive and triggered a full investigation of that episode.

One episode met it. It was a watch. We come to the watch.

> **Figure:** Eighteen months, four instruments, fourteen presses — see https://theyburied.com/article/two-clocks-eighteen-months

## What the bands saw

Dr. Rosalind Achterberg-Nwosu was given 154 twenty-four-hour windows and no press times. Fourteen were real. A hundred and forty were decoys drawn from the same volunteers on ordinary days.

She marked nine of the fourteen, and three of the hundred and forty.

What she marked in the nine is a period of markedly reduced movement — between forty and two hundred seconds — ending immediately before the press. Not sleep. Not the flat trace of a band on a table. The trace of a person who has stopped moving.

Three of the fourteen presses fall within twenty-five minutes of the band's estimate of waking.

In the other five there is nothing at all.

## The watch

On 14 November 2025, Volunteer 29 looked at her wrist at a bus stop and found the afternoon three hours and forty minutes behind where she knew it to be. She pressed the button. Her GPS, her band and her radio clock were correct, agreed with each other, and had never stopped.

On 3 December a watchmaker in Nantwich opened the case in front of our correspondent. The battery contact was corroded. He cleaned it, fitted a new cell and charged £1.60, and asked us not to make the repair sound cleverer than it was.

> You have measured my arm and you have written a headline about time.
>
> — Ernest Hedley-Vaughan

## What we can and cannot say

Nothing moved. That is the finding, and it is the finding the plan committed us to report whichever way it came out, in the manner of the protocol filed as [[PX-2161]] and the drawings collected as [[PX-1968]].

The experience is not in doubt. Eleven people pressed a button fourteen times at the moment something happened to them, and in nine cases something is visible — in the body, on the wrist, forty to two hundred seconds of a person gone quiet, noticed from the inside and recorded from the outside at the same time.

That is the most this desk can honestly claim, and Ernest Hedley-Vaughan, volunteer 07, forty-one years a signalman, does not think it is worth much. His letter is printed entire below. He accepts the clocks, accepts the band, accepts all three of his own episodes are among our nine, and then says that naming the shadow is not the same as accounting for the thing, and that our five presses with nothing in them are in the small print because they are inconvenient.

He is right about the five. We do not have an answer to the rest of it.

## Sources (invented)

- The registered protocol and analysis plan, Primary test, failure condition, stopping rule and every planned comparison — Published 9 January 2025, before recruitment; this newspaper had no ability to amend it after that date and did not attempt to (January 2025)
- The raw logs, 61 volunteers, 18 months, four channels each — Published entire with this story; home coordinates removed and each removal recorded in the file (August 2026)
- Dr. Rosalind Achterberg-Nwosu, Chronobiologist; read the actigraphy — Given 154 twenty-four-hour windows without press times, 140 of them decoys, and asked to mark anything unusual (May–June 2026)
- Alun Prydderch, Watchmaker, Nantwich — Opened the stopped watch in front of our correspondent and photographed the movement at each stage (3 December 2025)
- Ernest Hedley-Vaughan, Volunteer 07; retired signalman, forty-one years in the box — Interviewed four times, twice at his kitchen table, and sent the full draft with three weeks to answer (2025–2026)

## Documents cited (invented)

- PX-1968: https://theyburied.com/vault/PX-1968
- PX-2161: https://theyburied.com/vault/PX-2161

## What we could not confirm

- Whether anything shorter than a second happened. Our loggers resolve to one second and the radio clock to the second, and no part of this design could see faster than that. No volunteer has ever described an episode that brief, which is a reason to think it unlikely and is not the same as having looked.
- Whether the button marks the beginning. We asked for the instant the episode began. In eleven of the fourteen episodes the volunteer said afterwards that they had pressed it as soon as they could, which is a different instant. The stillness we measure before the press may be the episode itself, or it may be the ordinary pause of a person deciding to move a hand, and this study cannot tell those two apart.
- What the other five presses were. In five of the fourteen the band shows ordinary movement throughout, with nothing marked by a reader who did not know when to look. We have no account of those five beyond the volunteers' own, and we did not design anything capable of getting one.

## Right of reply

**Ernest Hedley-Vaughan, volunteer 07, retired signalman** (Replied by letter on 15 August 2026. Printed entire and unedited at his request.):

> I will start by conceding everything I can, because I do not want to be the man in your newspaper who would not be told.
> 
> The clocks were right. I accept that. I carried them for a year and a half and I checked them against the box clock at Basford Hall out of habit and they were right. I never thought the afternoon of the twelfth of June was going to turn out to be four hours long on a satellite. I am seventy-nine and I do not believe I have been anywhere.
> 
> I accept the band as well. All three of mine are in your nine. I was still. I do not dispute a single number in your file and I have read the file, twice, with a ruler.
> 
> Now. You have measured my arm and you have written a headline about time. Those are not the same subject, and I think you know it, because your standards note at the bottom says so more honestly than your first page does.
> 
> What I reported was not that I had lost minutes. I never once said I had lost minutes. I went to considerable trouble in my log not to say it, because I was forty-one years in a signal box and I know exactly what happens to a man who reports something he cannot support. What I reported was that the afternoon changed its quality. That the light on the up side of the platform went thin and stopped being the same afternoon it had been ten seconds earlier, and that I came back into it the way you come back into a room, and that when I looked at my watch the watch was of no help to me at all, because the watch had never been the thing that was wrong.
> 
> Your explanation is that I stopped paying attention for a hundred and forty seconds. I would like to take that seriously, so let me tell you what I know about it. I was paid, for four decades, to notice my own attention going. It is the whole of the job. You are alone in a box with other people's lives on a shelf and the first thing they teach you is what your own lapse feels like from the inside, and the second thing they teach you is to write it down and hand it in. I handed in eleven in forty-one years. I know the taste of it. It is a hole, and afterwards you are frightened, and you check the register to see what you missed.
> 
> This is not that. There is no hole. Nothing is missing. I can tell you what was in front of me the entire time. What I cannot tell you is why it stopped being an afternoon.
> 
> You have found a shadow that falls at the same moment as the thing, and you have named the shadow and set the thing down. Calling it a lapse of attention does not say what happened, it says what to file it under. It is the same as a signalman writing unexplained in the book and going home. I have written unexplained in a book. It is not an explanation and everybody in the room knows it is not.
> 
> One last matter, and it is the only place where I think you have done something wrong rather than merely something incomplete. You have five presses with nothing in the band at all. Five out of fourteen. In your draft those five occupy two sentences, and one of them is an apology. If your nine mean the stillness is the answer, the five mean it is not the answer, and I notice that the nine are in your headline and the five are in your small print. I would have that the other way round.
> 
> I am grateful to you. You paid for the instruments and you published the plan first and you sent me the whole of what you were going to say about me before you said it, which is more than the two doctors did. I would do it again tomorrow. I simply do not think you have found out what happened to me, and I would rather you wrote that than wrote something tidier.

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They Buried is a satirical newspaper. Every story, source, document and person in it is invented. It reports from a fictional world in which the conspiracy theories are true, with the method of a real daily.