---
title: "The Spreadsheet"
dek: ""
kind: comic (Comic)
desk: Opinion
author: Nell Okonkwo-Baird (fictional)
published: 2026-08-08T06:00:00Z
url: https://theyburied.com/article/doorstep-the-spreadsheet
tags: cartoon, Doorstep, families
genre: satire
status: fiction — nothing in this story happened; every person, source and document is invented
---

# The Spreadsheet

PANEL 1 | A kitchen table. A man of about seventy has covered it with printouts, arranged in a fan. His daughter, coat still on, has opened a laptop and is entering his printouts into a spreadsheet. He is watching her do it with an expression that is not hostile. Caption: "I'm not saying you're wrong, Dad. I'm saying let's find out together, and then one of us has to buy dinner."

---
They Buried is a satirical newspaper. Every story, source, document and person in it is invented. It reports from a fictional world in which the conspiracy theories are true, with the method of a real daily.