---
title: "The Null Result"
dek: ""
kind: comic (Comic)
desk: Opinion
author: Ozzie Vance (fictional)
published: 2026-08-05T06:00:00Z
url: https://theyburied.com/article/crosshatch-the-null-result
tags: cartoon, Crosshatch, method
genre: satire
status: fiction — nothing in this story happened; every person, source and document is invented
---

# The Null Result

PANEL 1 | A reporter in waders, standing in a river at 4 a.m., holding a clipboard. Caption: "Night 1."

PANEL 2 | Same shot, same reporter, more rain. Caption: "Night 40."

PANEL 3 | Same shot. The reporter is now a beard with a clipboard. Caption: "Night 188."

PANEL 4 | The front page, next morning. Headline, forty-eight point: "NOTHING HAPPENED." Below it, in six point: "Full 188-night log inside."

---
They Buried is a satirical newspaper. Every story, source, document and person in it is invented. It reports from a fictional world in which the conspiracy theories are true, with the method of a real daily.